Freeport News Network — Chances are you’ve been a victim of this. You know how it is. Those times you run into people who always have something to say in certain circles and they’re always talking smack. It doesn’t matter what you do, they always find something to complain about and if you find that someone who doesn’t like you, there is nothing you can do to change what is often times, a very misguided point of view. The worst and most amusing part is, the adolescent behavior that often ensues afterwards. It’s quite the insight into our vulturous humanity.
But it can be troublesome can’t it when you believe people may feel a certain way. I mean, no one of course “wants” to have anyone think negatively of them. But most all of us have been through that a time or two in our lives. The hater, the smart mouth, the person who always has something to say to try and tear you down.
It’s liberating in those circumstances to know when it’s okay not to care anymore and you know what, it’s perfectly okay at times to do just that.
Not care at all.
If you stick to these 12 reasons why you shouldn’t care, if ever a time comes up where you’re in the face of negativity, I’m confident that you’ll be able to reach the place where you too, can confidently say that you don’t care either.
12. Only you and those extremely close to you, know you. The majority of times people talk negatively about someone, they usually know absolutely nothing about that person. They’ve never met them, hung around them, they have no idea of family or loved ones, or your hobbies or interests. They just “heard something” and they ran with it.
Could have been from a job or a past relationship, or it could be just someone who is naturally negative and spiteful, and you just happened to come in their cross hairs.
There’s a lot of confidence in the fact that YOU know you. I often relate it to fame.
Can you imagine all of the horrible comments that have been said about Justin Bieber, Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump? Imagine being them and reading or hearing some of those comments people have said. They are absolutely brutal and very personally attacking. Those comments are ugly. Think you have people who talk bad about you? What about Martin Luther King?
Imagine being them. That hate, is in the millions! Imagine being famous and having millions of people not like you. But does that mean they’re a bad person?
What about the millions who like them? They’re just crazy right.
How do you know you’re not crazy.
Point is, how are these types of people who have millions of people who don’t like them, able to continue to face the public? Why?
Because they know them.
They are confident enough in themselves it doesn’t matter. They’d rather not have millions of people dislike them, but they also realize it just comes with the territory and they brush it off because at the end of the day, what the hell do those people know anyway. You know you, and it is the only thing that matters.
11. Everyone has an opinion. Our culture is a culture today of opinions. Everyone has an opinion and to them, their opinion is the only one that matters because it’s their opinion. Everyone is so vocal about “what they think” and as in #12, they are usually not very educated on the subject they even have opinions on. They heard something somewhere or read something and did no research on their own. (Plus, they know nothing about you anyway, remember?) People form opinions at the drop of a hat.
Not that we’re not entitled to have opinions, but anyone who’s ever witnessed a social media outcry knows, conversations go awry very fast and pretty soon it’s name calling, threats and the conversation isn’t even about the original topic any longer. Don’t engage in it. You’d be surprised how liberating that is. We all know those heated opinion conversations are hard to resist, but they never have a happy ending.
The happiest ending is, don’t get involved.
10. You deserve to be you. You deserve to be you completely, exactly how you want to be. Too often we will hinder our own selves out of fear of what others may think. We limit putting ourselves out there because we don’t want to embarrass ourselves or have anyone make fun of us. Most people, (perhaps you), have reservations. Those reservations are what stop us from being the complete you that maybe you want to be. Be confident, be funny, be a little goofy and go ahead, try something new. It’s your life and you deserve that.
9. Haters hate success. Sure, there are many people who want you to be happy. For the most part we as people generally want everyone to be happy. We don’t wish ill will on anyone.
However, in certain circumstances people are going to hate it if you’re successful. People are jealous people sometimes. If they don’t have whatever it is they perceive you have, some just won’t like you. That dislike turns into unwarranted criticism and whether that person, (or those people) would admit it (or could), they want you to fail.
The best remedy? Succeed.
Stick #12 and #11 in your belt and go be successful and don’t look back. Do NOT look back. Just go.
8. Beat the bully every time. Like #9, bullies hate that you don’t care what they are saying about you. When I was raising my children I often told them, “let idiots be idiots alone, don’t be one with them”. In other words, that bully WANTS you to respond, That’s what they feed off of. Your response is just another opportunity to attack you some more.
It doesn’t matter what you say either. Bullies will find fault in anything you say no matter what it is. You can’t reason with them and you can’t come to common ground with them because that’s not what they want. They want to attack you. So, don’t let them.
It takes two to fight. Take your one away, stand proud of who you are, and put on a smile. There is nothing you say that will hurt me. Then believe it and read #6. Once a bully realizes you aren’t even listening to them and that you really could care less what they have to say, bullies drop like flies.
A bully is nothing more than someone who wants attention who doesn’t know the proper way to go about getting it. They also are usually a victim of something themselves, so their behavior is more to protect themselves, before they get hurt.
(obviously if it’s a physically threatening situation do not be silent about it and tell someone, or multiple people about what is happening)
7. Don’t fall for the guilt. I know, it’s hard not to care sometimes but sometimes you have to stand tall and get an attitude of “it doesn’t matter”. As in #12, you have to know you. But caring too much can often lead to unnecessary stress. You get anxious, worked up and it’s usually over nothing you can control so why do you care. They don’t care, they’re not concerned with how you feel so don’t let anyone put that on you. You don’t deserve that and you know it. Hop in the car and go somewhere. Hit the park, visit a friend, go mow the lawn or plant some flowers. Do you.
Bullies and people who talk smack go to the extreme and they are very two faced. Whatever you may have even said or done, if even anything, what they do in return is deplorably brutal. If you were to stand on the clouds and look down at the words said on both sides, it’s a drop of water on one side and a hurricane of destruction on the other. It’s not even comparable. They are also the people who will punch you and punch you and punch, but boy if you ever punch back, that’s when they really lose their minds. How dare you stand up for yourself. They have no ability to forgive, no matter who (#12) you are.
Don’t fall for the guilt trap. It’s just another result that being bullied or dealing with someone’s negative comments you don’t deserve to have put on yourself. Be aware of that, and don’t let it.
6. It’s OK to defend yourself. Stick to the above rules but don’t be afraid to defend yourself. Just do it in a way that doesn’t make you break rule #8, engaging in conversations. Take some time, put down on pen and paper the precise words that convey exactly what you have to say, and say it once and let it be. Don’t swear and cut others down, don’t talk bad about other people, use your brain not your emotions. Write something so much more intellectually to the point than what anyone would ever expect, that when you do say something, people aren’t even sure how to respond. That’s where the immaturity comes in because they don’t know what else to say other than, “oh yeah, well… you’re stupid man”, or the least intellectual response of all responses, “oh yea, well… I’ll beat you up”. They threaten physical violence.
When it’s time to talk, like a movie star would have their press agent do, issue a press release, be confident in your own words and then shut the heck up.
5. Give back. I believe that part of your life has to be a part of service to something to be completely fulfilled. That doesn’t mean you have to quit the job and start saving baby seals, but you have to do something positive.
Now raising children and being a parent, that’s doing something pretty positive but do more than that. It doesn’t have to be now and it doesn’t at all have to interfere with your parenting if you are a parent raising children still, but give back.
Positive little random notes to people, call that person you know could use a phone call, spread a positive vibe or join a group, club or a local program in your area. Giving back gives you added confidence in who you are. It adds depth to your life and it aids you in not caring what people think. Plus, the world really would be a better place if we all just did something small, so give back.
4. Admit mistakes. It’s okay to say you’re wrong and if you know you are, say so. Don’t pretend, don’t try and weasel your way out of it, admit it. Own up for yourself when you know you crossed a line (and we all know when we have done that). Maybe no one else knows, but you do.
From a confidence standpoint, not admitting your wrongs will only bring you down. Plus, just like #11 how through “not engaging” is liberating, admitting your faults when it’s warranted is equally as liberating. It’s not easy no, but you have to do it. No, it doesn’t have to be publicly, but it does have to happen.
3. Live as authentic of a life as you can. Don’t be something you’re not, don’t act a certain way in front of some people and different around others. Be the real you and don’t be fake about it. The more authentic you are in the person that you are, the far easier it is to not care what people think. If you’re not living an authentic life then change it. Some of what people say may be true and maybe deep inside, that’s what bothers you. If it is and you know it is, then make the change and X that from your life so it isn’t there any longer. It’s okay, you can do it.
Some people are chameleons who change wherever the wind blows, or to whatever the popular topic is. Be authentic, and then stand up for that authentic you that you know you are. Authenticity is huge.
2. Make little things matter. A lot of caring what others think believe it or not, is social acceptance. The Johnson’s have a better car, her husband is more handsome, they have more money, those people over there have the biggest cable package there is.
I can tell you, I have lived on both sides of the fence. Mercedes Benz, two other cars, beautiful home, private schools, big screen TV’s, toys yada yada — and I have been dirt poor. I have found that well over 75% of the material things I used to think were important, were never important at all.
It’s a funny thing about giving up material things. You seem to gain an aspect of life that most people will never be fortunate enough to appreciate. They’re too busy to smell the flowers, look around or even have a moment to enjoy the day. They’re already late for work.
There’s a lot of receiving in letting it go.
Life isn’t about things and it isn’t inherently about money anyway. Money isn’t a natural law of life and too many people sacrifice moral values all too often over it. True happiness is living life on your terms and nine times out of ten, that happiness isn’t filled with monthly payments, long term loans, plastic things, shiny stuff or the lure of having “all that money can buy”. Nothing against money or nice things, but it’s way too overrated. People are living to the hilt, buried in debt and life is routine, mundane and stressful. Most people are just “doing” to keep up with the things they have, and we all know what happens when Christmas rolls around.
1. Stay Humble. It’s great to be confident and proud of yourself, but step down from the pedestal you’re on because you’re really not all that. Did you know that Kings have lived and you don’t even know their names? Rulers of people, kings of nations and you have no idea who they even are. Life is big, it’s vast, your poop does stink and you are not as big and mighty as you think you are.
There’s a not so delicate line between confidence and being a complete jerk. It’s not so delicate because it’s usually that the difference is in your attitude. An attitude which for most people is the hardest part to change. Remember, we all have those opinions too. They tend to get in the way of staying humble.
Know who you are, stand tall and proud of who you are, but keep it humble. Nobody cares that you think you’re the best, or you’re this or you’re that and they certainly don’t care to hear about it all the time. If you’re the best, they’ll tell you. If you’re the king, they will call you king. Don’t find yourself acting stupid forgetting where you came from.
If you run into people who just can’t help themselves from telling you what they think of you, or you run into the bully or find yourself the topic of people’s nasty tongues, if you stick to these twelve reasons why you shouldn’t care what they think, pretty soon you’ll find yourself completely liberated from that burden.
You will find that genuine place inside you, and you will not care at all what those people think in the least.
Or if you’re a rock star, it’ll be your little secret weapon to shoving it right back up their own butthole, but in a really nice, professional, thoughtful way.
Yep, that’s okay too.